Buttcrack. No really, it is. FOr numerous reasons including, but not limited to, the inability to make left hand turns, the lack of self-service gas stations, and well, do I even need to say it?
Recently, my best friend and I ventured to New Jersey on an adventure... and what an adventure it was.
The first thing we noticed driving into the state was that it looked like any other state. Eventually we noticed the concrete barriers that act as a yellow no passing line down the middle of the two lane... how did we make the left turn into our hotel you ask? We didn't. You have to make all turns from the right hand lane. It's confusing and my GPS didn't inform me of this. In addition, the speed limit on these roads is 55 but heck if anyone is traveling it. It gets really difficult when you need to stop at the red lights which are only about 4 blocks apart!
... And did I mention that it's illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey (and apparently Oregon as well)? My dad says that in Oregon it's illegal because pumping your own gas can be a fire hazard. You know if you smoke or leave your car running. I assume it's the same in Jersey where they haven't pumped their own gas in about 50 years. I wanted to avoid getting gas in Jersey, alas, it could not be helped.
So we pulled up to the pump. And waited about ten minutes or so before Derek got out. We checked for signs to alert tourists to the Full-Service way of life in Jersey but saw none. So Derek began the pumping. About $10 in, the attendant comes outside and moseys to the car. The following conversation occurs:
Attendant: Oh. So you know how to work the system?
Derek: Yes.
Attendant: I wish more people knew how to work the system. It'd make my job easier.
Now, I'm in the car oblivious to this conversation. But when Derek gets in and relays it to me. You'd better believe I was FLABBERGASTED!!! WHAT DO JERSEY NATIVES DO WHEN THEY LEAVE THE STATE?!?!??! I had to call my mom. And Derek and I drove mostly in silence to dinner because all I could say was, "I just don't know how to do about this."
When we got back to the hotel, I googled the penalty for pumping your own gas in Jersey. I didn't find one but I did learn that in 2006, they tried to get self-service stations. People didn't support this for 3 reasons.
1. Loss of jobs. Okay, fair enough.
2. The elderly. They didn't want the elderly pumping their own gas. Okay, but 2 things. You can have stations that are both self- and full-service and two, honestly, they're probably the only people who actually know how to pump their own gas. They were around before the full-service law went into effect.
3. (This one is CLEARLY my favorite) People might not know which hole to put the gas in. Okay, even if you haven't been pumping your gas for the last fifty years... haven't you been paying attention to which side of the pump you pull up to?!?!?! THAT SAID... THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE HOLE OVER THERE!!!! If you're popping your hood (or your trunk) to pump your gas, you're a) oblivious and b) a moron. People have even been known to pump gas in movies and on TV... someone hasn't been paying attention. And I guess that makes me a bit redundant.
Needless to say, there are no self-service stations in Jersey (and the gas attendants don't check license plates before coming out to pump your gas or he would have known that since we were rockin my Ohio plates, we know how to pump gas).
I think idiots flock to Jersey. And if you want to defend that statement, please go watch the Jersey Shore.
That is all.
Peace, love, and the Garden State,
Amber
Oh two random side notes....
1. I never saw a garden.
2. I did see a trailer park that had a sign that read, *insert name of trailer park* and below it... "Communities of Nice People"
Take it as you will.
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