Did you know that there are some people out there who believe sex is the ultimate solution to any problem? Well maybe not any problem but apparently to all my problems.
I don't know if any of the people who've recently told me that have met me but really?
You know how people always believe that they won't be in a car accident or they won't be the person who runs with scissors and trips and falls and stabs themselves in the arm or whatever? Well I am the person who believes that when she has sex, she's going to get pregnant. Which is to say that if I do have sex, for about a month or so, depending on the time of the month, I'm going to be more of a basket case than ever worrying about whether or not I'm pregnant.
And I'm not saying either that I'd up and bang someone without some kind of protection. I want multiple kinds of protection, you know just to be safe. I worry about things which is why people tell me I just need to get laid already. But do you see how counterproductive this would be? AND THEN WHAT IF I GOT PREGNANT?!?!?!
I'm all about babies. They're adorable. But I am soooooo not ready for one. Not to mention all the other emotional scarring that would come with getting laid.
In fact, thinking about all of it gets me in the mood that leads people to say to me "You just need to get laid." Newsflash, sex isn't going to solve my problems. Please stop suggesting I do it. It's not entertaining anymore.
Besides, I LIKE being a virgin. It's a conversation starter. And it makes people look at you funny but hey, we're all different.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Ke$ha
First and foremost, I'd like to begin by saying that anytime I hear We R Who We R or Take it Off... I crank the radio and JAM. Hardcore. They're very catchy. So I do not hate Ke$ha. I just have opinions about her persona. And I say persona because I hope on a normal day... you know when she's not being Ke$ha or before she was Ke$ha, she didn't come off as a dirty hooker? So I say persona because I'm almost certain she was created to be... a dirty hooker who sings. Or doesn't sing, I'm not entirely sure yet.
I liked Tik Tok when it first came out, you know before I started hating on for her DH look. But then I heard Your love is my drug and I didn't care too much anymore and I jumped on a Ke$ha hatin bandwagon. And then, Take it Off. I secretly played Take It Off on YouTube for like 3 hours straight one night because NOTHING about that song gets old. And it's sooooo catchy too. And while I didn't like We R Who We R when it first came out, I'll admit, thanks to a friend of mine... I'm hot and dangerous.
And if you're wondering my humble opinion on her new song Blow, I'm going to need an answer on whether or not the line about the kool-aid is a reference to the Jonestown Massacre. I'm not entirely sure if the answer will sway my opinion, but I'll admit I'm so perplexed by that line, I forgot to listen to the rest of the song. I wasn't sure if I should be suspicious of the reference, or impressed that someone wrote that in there to see who would catch on. But of course there's always the chance that she's really talking about kool-aid.
Let's diagram. The lines are "Back door cracked / we don't need a key / we get in for free / no VIP sleaze / drink that kool-aid / follow my lead / now you're one of us / you're coming with me / it's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down / tonight we're taking over / no one's getting out"
I'm sorry that's far more lyrics than I planned to share with you HOWEVER, the more of the lyrics I heard, the more terrified I got. So to continue....
If you don't know anything about the Jonestown massacre, here's a few factoids.
- Jonestown Massacre occured in a small jungle town in Africa. Approximately 900 people died.
- It happened on Nov 18, 1978. So roughly 32 years ago.
- The people drank a something and died. But it was all part of a plan.
- Prior to the drinking and dying, several people (including a US Congressman, a NBC reporter, and some family members/cult members trying to leave) were attacked by members of the Jonestown community as they boarded a plane for the US. Some of them died.
(For more information, see the links Go here or here, or Google it. But use reputable sources, it's all I ask. Or at least sources that sound reputable.)
Sort of fact: There is one thing people remember about mass suicides like this... for Jonestown it was the kool-aid (though we can't ever be sure it was really kool-aid). But still, kool-aid enough to make me think of it when I hear that Ke$ha song.
So knowing what I've shared with you about Jonestown and rereading those Ke$ha lyrics, anyone wanna weigh in on that? Is it a reference? A coincidence? I don't know but it's strange enough that I have formed another opinion about Ke$ha (in addition to the DH one)... She's trying to brainwash us!
No I'm just kidding. Someone else writes those songs for her (he/she/it is the real mastermind here).
Either way, when it's all said and done, I'm sure I'll find myself jamming in the car to it because hell, the shit she sings is so damn catchy. So damn catchy.
I liked Tik Tok when it first came out, you know before I started hating on for her DH look. But then I heard Your love is my drug and I didn't care too much anymore and I jumped on a Ke$ha hatin bandwagon. And then, Take it Off. I secretly played Take It Off on YouTube for like 3 hours straight one night because NOTHING about that song gets old. And it's sooooo catchy too. And while I didn't like We R Who We R when it first came out, I'll admit, thanks to a friend of mine... I'm hot and dangerous.
And if you're wondering my humble opinion on her new song Blow, I'm going to need an answer on whether or not the line about the kool-aid is a reference to the Jonestown Massacre. I'm not entirely sure if the answer will sway my opinion, but I'll admit I'm so perplexed by that line, I forgot to listen to the rest of the song. I wasn't sure if I should be suspicious of the reference, or impressed that someone wrote that in there to see who would catch on. But of course there's always the chance that she's really talking about kool-aid.
Let's diagram. The lines are "Back door cracked / we don't need a key / we get in for free / no VIP sleaze / drink that kool-aid / follow my lead / now you're one of us / you're coming with me / it's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down / tonight we're taking over / no one's getting out"
I'm sorry that's far more lyrics than I planned to share with you HOWEVER, the more of the lyrics I heard, the more terrified I got. So to continue....
If you don't know anything about the Jonestown massacre, here's a few factoids.
- Jonestown Massacre occured in a small jungle town in Africa. Approximately 900 people died.
- It happened on Nov 18, 1978. So roughly 32 years ago.
- The people drank a something and died. But it was all part of a plan.
- Prior to the drinking and dying, several people (including a US Congressman, a NBC reporter, and some family members/cult members trying to leave) were attacked by members of the Jonestown community as they boarded a plane for the US. Some of them died.
(For more information, see the links Go here or here, or Google it. But use reputable sources, it's all I ask. Or at least sources that sound reputable.)
Sort of fact: There is one thing people remember about mass suicides like this... for Jonestown it was the kool-aid (though we can't ever be sure it was really kool-aid). But still, kool-aid enough to make me think of it when I hear that Ke$ha song.
So knowing what I've shared with you about Jonestown and rereading those Ke$ha lyrics, anyone wanna weigh in on that? Is it a reference? A coincidence? I don't know but it's strange enough that I have formed another opinion about Ke$ha (in addition to the DH one)... She's trying to brainwash us!
No I'm just kidding. Someone else writes those songs for her (he/she/it is the real mastermind here).
Either way, when it's all said and done, I'm sure I'll find myself jamming in the car to it because hell, the shit she sings is so damn catchy. So damn catchy.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
To Zzzzz or Not to Zzzzzz: That is the Question
Everyone has to start somewhere, right? But I'm incredibly indecisive and cannot decide where to start...
It happens.
Sleep is elusive. No seriously. When I was in college, I used to stay up late working on papers or playing games on the internet and then I'd sleep and wake up for class (most of the time). Now I stay up late playing Epic Coaster on Facebook (or Bubble Spinner) or watching my daily dose of television* and before I know it, it's 3 am. OH LOOK! And then I realize I have to be up in four hours so I can look/smell decent for work. And the ONLY reason I'm ACTUALLY going to drag my butt out of bed at 7am, is because I have asked my mother to make sure I'm awake.
Pathetic right?
But hey, it's not like I ask her to do it everyday. And I really only asked tonight (and by asked I mean, wrote a note on the bathroom mirror with Expo marker that she can't possibly miss) is because I don't want to get up before she's done in the shower. Because then I have to pee and we only have one bathroom. I'm really just being proactive.
But seriously, since I've a) graduated college and b) my summer job has ended (I know it's February but from May-August I had a good sleep schedule and I miss it), my sleep schedule has been as crazy as Lady Gaga's outfits. In a purely exaggerated way of course. My mom says all I have to do is go to bed a half hour early every night until I'm going to bed at the time I want to be going to bed, and also wake up a half hour earlier every day. This might work if I worked a 9-5 job like she does. Instead, sometimes I work a 9-4 job and sometimes I work a 5-midnight job. And when I work 5-midnight, I don't really see a point in being up at 8am.
I'm sure there's a solution for this... I just haven't found one yet. And getting a new job is out of the question. I LIKE my job, but that is a theory for another blog.
So goodnight vast world. Hopefully your sleep schedule is not as erratic as mine.
It happens.
Sleep is elusive. No seriously. When I was in college, I used to stay up late working on papers or playing games on the internet and then I'd sleep and wake up for class (most of the time). Now I stay up late playing Epic Coaster on Facebook (or Bubble Spinner) or watching my daily dose of television* and before I know it, it's 3 am. OH LOOK! And then I realize I have to be up in four hours so I can look/smell decent for work. And the ONLY reason I'm ACTUALLY going to drag my butt out of bed at 7am, is because I have asked my mother to make sure I'm awake.
Pathetic right?
But hey, it's not like I ask her to do it everyday. And I really only asked tonight (and by asked I mean, wrote a note on the bathroom mirror with Expo marker that she can't possibly miss) is because I don't want to get up before she's done in the shower. Because then I have to pee and we only have one bathroom. I'm really just being proactive.
But seriously, since I've a) graduated college and b) my summer job has ended (I know it's February but from May-August I had a good sleep schedule and I miss it), my sleep schedule has been as crazy as Lady Gaga's outfits. In a purely exaggerated way of course. My mom says all I have to do is go to bed a half hour early every night until I'm going to bed at the time I want to be going to bed, and also wake up a half hour earlier every day. This might work if I worked a 9-5 job like she does. Instead, sometimes I work a 9-4 job and sometimes I work a 5-midnight job. And when I work 5-midnight, I don't really see a point in being up at 8am.
I'm sure there's a solution for this... I just haven't found one yet. And getting a new job is out of the question. I LIKE my job, but that is a theory for another blog.
So goodnight vast world. Hopefully your sleep schedule is not as erratic as mine.
A Warning Before We Begin
Okay, so before we begin, I feel as if I should issue a warning to anyone out there who is reading this.
1. I will never, ever, ever call someone out based on race, religion, creed, age, sexual orientation, marital status, blah blah blah. But if you're stupid, you're fair game.
2. My opinions are simply that. I shall never pass them off as facts or attempt to force you to conform to them. If you think Justin Bieber is the next Michael Jackson/Billy Joel/insert your favorite male singer here that's fine. I think he's a creeper with a small furry animal growing on his forehead. You're entitled to your opinion.
2.5. That said, if you're going to comment, use your brain when you do it. I'm not asking for flawless English but I am asking for you to use your brain. If you want to counter my opinion with your own, AWESOME, but if you're going to a) force your opinion on me as fact or b) attempt to pass off your opinion as fact, please don't bother posting it.
3. I had a 3 before I wrote 2.5. Oh, right. My aim is to use this blog to entertain and occasionally to make you think. But mostly to entertain.
4. I reserve the right to add/amend/etc these warnings at any time.
That's all for now. Well you know in five minutes I'm actually going to write a blog. I think.
1. I will never, ever, ever call someone out based on race, religion, creed, age, sexual orientation, marital status, blah blah blah. But if you're stupid, you're fair game.
2. My opinions are simply that. I shall never pass them off as facts or attempt to force you to conform to them. If you think Justin Bieber is the next Michael Jackson/Billy Joel/insert your favorite male singer here that's fine. I think he's a creeper with a small furry animal growing on his forehead. You're entitled to your opinion.
2.5. That said, if you're going to comment, use your brain when you do it. I'm not asking for flawless English but I am asking for you to use your brain. If you want to counter my opinion with your own, AWESOME, but if you're going to a) force your opinion on me as fact or b) attempt to pass off your opinion as fact, please don't bother posting it.
3. I had a 3 before I wrote 2.5. Oh, right. My aim is to use this blog to entertain and occasionally to make you think. But mostly to entertain.
4. I reserve the right to add/amend/etc these warnings at any time.
That's all for now. Well you know in five minutes I'm actually going to write a blog. I think.
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