So for those of you who don't know, I work in a video rental store. And yes, we have an adult room. And yes, I spend some time in that adult room and that sounds way dirtier than it should. I usually volunteer to rearrange/inventory whatever when it needs done because it's quiet back there. Seriously quiet and generally free of stupid questions and ridiculous complaints. In addition, when I visit one of my best friends, for fun we pull up the porn titles on her TV Guide menu thing and read them out loud and make fun of them. So I've gathered that there are a LOT of silly porn names and silly porn ideas.
The Accidental Hooker- Let's start here as it is, on record, the first title that made me stop and say "REALLY?" I don't know if you know this, but it is not possible to be an "accidental hooker." First, to be a hooker, you need to (in my opinion) repeatedly have sex and get paid. I don't know how this could repeatedly happen accidentally. Actually, I do. Let me explain. The first time you have sex and get paid for it, should happen like this. You bang, you fall asleep and when you wake up the next morning, the one night stand is gone but has left some amount of cash for you to find. And if he/she is tasteful, a thank you note. Now the first time this happens, I'll cut you some slack. You accidentally got paid for sex, yippie time one. Time two however, you should start to wonder what you're doing wrong to make people think you're a hooker. Is it the places you're hanging out? The dress you're wearing? The perfume (baby prostitute a la mean girls anyone)? Anyway, in my opinion, you cannot be an accidental hooker.
Coctomom- This one MIGHT BE one of my favorites. For several reasons. First, because IT'S A RIDICULOUS TITLE! And second because the actress in it looks a lot like Octomom, who I personally do not find attractive whatsoever. And I'm not saying that in a lesbian sense, I'm saying that with the what most guys like perspective and the what other women are appreciative of/jealous of. Girls can usually admit other girls are pretty. At least, I can. But seriously, there is NOTHING attractive about Octo orrrr Coctomom.
And you know the most shocking part of all of this? Coctomom actually rents. SCARY!... no really she is.
Well, time is fleeting so I must go. But trust me, I'm not done.
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